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Not my dogs but is lovely

So our cow cat Picassos has issues. He lost an ear squamous cell carcinoma, he's FIV+ has diabetes, has lost most of his teeth and has skin allergies. Last night he ended up sitting in his own pee in the litter box. So I did what any brave cat mom does and gave him a bath. He decided to leap from my arms as I was attempting to dry him hitting his chin on the oven handle on the way down. He ended up breaking one of his few remaining teeth at the gum. So this morning we took him to the vet. Turns out he also has a grade 2 heart murmur. So the vet doesn't think it's a good idea to sedate him to remove the tooth root. So now we treat with pain management and antibiotics. Please keep a kind thought for him, as he clearly has none of his own.

First and last photos of me and Folti plus some more because she was the most beautiful. I got Folti when I had just turned 7, still in first grade. I am now 24, she was 17, I don’t know life without her. Her health started declining a year ago, vet appointments became frequent. I was fortune enough to spend basically all of summer at home with her, my life became taking care of her. I started preparing myself for her passing a while ago. I was incredibly grateful for each day we got to spend together. I cried lying next to her the whole day yesterday because when I looked in her eyes I knew our time was coming to an end. But no amount of preparing helped, her death hurts so much and even after all the anticipatory grief, it still felt so sudden. I just keep wishing for more time. The house feels empty without her and I don’t know what to do with all this emptiness. I have no idea what to do or how to get through this. She was my greatest love. I don’t know how to live without her. Does it ever get easier????